Always Meant To Go Back
by MaskedxKunoichi
Summary: Severus managed to forget the strange memory of Potter thanking him and apologizing in his first year. However, the things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end. Broken and dying in the Shrieking Shack, Snape finally understood that memory.


**Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling.**

**In this story, Harry, Ron, and Hermione never found any hocruxes while out camping.**

The day that Severus had been dreadfully anticipating had come. Potter's spawn would be starting classes today, undoubtedly composed of as much arrogance and disgusting self-worth as his father had been. Well, it would not faze him. He was older now, wise and protected. Unfair as it might be to the deepest part of his conscience, he resolved to make the incoming Potter's life impossible, just as his had been.

And then he thought of Lily, her compassion and care for someone like him, and felt his resolve crumble. He recalled his promise to Albus to protect the boy. Severus sighed. He didn't care much for the young Potter. The only part of him Severus accepted was his eyes, precisely like his mother's.

Minutes later, students bustled in, soundlessly filling in their seats, intimidated by the aura Severus had emitted. He was, after all, strictly business or subject-oriented, in this case.

James Potter's reincarnate stood out amongst the mass of first years and Severus' frown deepened. After carrying out his 'first lesson' speech, he noticed that the bespectacled boy had not been paying attention, choosing instead to cast looks around the room. Enraged at his dismissal for Severus' authority and lack of respect, Severus launched into rapid-fire questions about his subject, questions that most third years could not answer. Irritatingly, the bushy-haired witch by the boy's side raised her hand to every question, despite it not having been directed at her. Most displeasing of all, the egotistical boy had answered every one of his questions correctly, the curve of his mouth pointing upward. The boy had the urge to mock him!

Stubbornly believing luck was at play instead of wit, Severus removed 10 points from Gryffindor for his cheekiness, and 5 points for the girl's insufferable desire to be a know-it-all, for good measure. The lesson continued as Severus' hate for the boy increased. If he had to be honest with himself, the boy was not bad at potions at all. In fact, it seemed as if he was quite comfortable with everything. Of course, with Severus' mind and his unpleasant past, he deduced Potter's efficiency in the subject to arrogance. Severus sighed in relief as the class was finally adjourned.

Sitting down and taking his head into his hands, he evaluated himself. Now with the peace and quiet of his mind, he could think. Reliving the past hour, the truly sane part of him berated him for the treatment of the young boy who, after the removal of his House points, had remained silent. It seemed as if all Severus was doing was to turn all of Potter's qualities into bad things to satisfy his revenge. Revenge that wasn't truly deserved by the young Potter. Severus was well aware of this, but couldn't fully acknowledge it, despite himself.

As it turned out, Severus was not alone. A student had lingered, the same one Severus had been debating about in his mind.

"I was under the impression that I dismissed the class not five minutes ago, Potter."

"Er, can I talk to you, Professor?" The boy didn't look deterred at his unpleasantness like Severus would have hoped.

"What do you want, _Mr._ Potter?" sneered Severus, reminding himself to be reasonable. The boy had seen him troubled! A weak impression, indeed.

The boy sighed, as if weary. He opened and closed his mouth several times, as if not knowing what to say. "How do I begin this? Merlin, it was easier battling that basilisk…."

Convinced that the boy was delusional, as a basilisk had not been seen for centuries, and only winning at wasting his time, his temper got the best of him.

"Out with it. Either you form coherent words or escort your inconsiderate self out of my classroom at once, Potter."

And then Potter relaxed, a ghost of a smile tugging on his lips. He shook his head and Severus was reminded of the time where Dumbledore made the same gesture at him, remarking how Severus hadn't changed much from his Hogwarts days. Initially taking it negatively, Severus scowled until Dumbledore added that he only meant that Severus was still as reserved and sharp-tongued as his younger self.

"I only wanted to thank you, Professor."

Severus visibly raised an eyebrow, wondering where this strange praise was headed.

"...and to apologize, too. I finally understand why you did what you did."

With Potter's every word, Severus' confusion escalated.

"I never got the chance to do so earlier, you see. It seems as if this is my second chance."

The boy smiled grudgingly, biting his lips in thought. He seemed to finally realize the time and the fact that he would be late for his next class.

"Well, I think I've wasted enough of your time. Goodbye, Professor." Potter vanished into the corridor without another word, leaving Severus to his thoughts.

The rest of the evening was spent pondering about Potter's words. Had the boy known about Severus' spy duties, his betrayals, his past? Why had he thanked him and then apologize? Whatever prank Potter was pulling, it didn't occur to Severus because for one, this was the first time Potter was actually meeting him. He also looked absolutely sincere that it made it hard for Severus to doubt his words. Because of the intense inward battle he was having and his tediousness of the whole situation, Severus pushed the encounter at the very back of his mind, determined to keep his hate for Potters alive.

Severus succeeded at pretending not to have had the encounter at all as Potter showed no further inclination of the event as well. In fact, after that day Severus never again saw Potter show that his 'thanks' and 'sorry' were real, causing the Potions Master trouble year after year.

Only in his darkest hours did the strange memory resurface. Lying bloody and broken on the Shrieking Shack floor, he recalled the first meeting he ever had with the green-eyed teenager, who due to the experiences he's had, was weary and wise beyond his years. The same teenager who was now trying to find some way to console his dying self despite the hate he harbored for the hook-nosed man.

"It's no use, Potter. The Dark Lord has won."

"I suppose you're happy about that, now."

"Contrary to popular belief, no, I am not."

And then Severus granted Potter with the memories Dumbledore, the manipulative old man, had requested him to pass on.

"T-take it. Dumbledore wanted you to have it." Although he looked confused, Potter placed the memories inside the flask.

"There is a way…_sir_," he grudgingly added "-to defeat Voldemort."

Maybe it was the fact that Severus had just been betrayed by his master or the fact that he would not live to see another hour so he would be unable to share his findings. Perhaps it had been that a small part of Potter didn't believe Severus to be truly evil. Whatever it had been, it had caused him to share with the dying man his plans. Severus tried not to think it was because Potter was trying to fill the empty silence, so he wouldn't be alone in his death.

"Professor Dumbledore doesn't know it, Hermione was the one who found out. There's this….this complicated potion that can be used to jump back in time. Not only a few hours like Time Turners, but months, years maybe. It uses the same concept though, so we've got to be careful not to run into ourselves. I'm not going to lie and say it's easy because it's not. But it's the best hope we've got."

Potter looked about a thousand miles away. A small part of Severus now understood that part of the reason Potter confided in him was because he was scared, afraid and tired of always being the adult he had to be. Severus faintly wondered why it was _him_, of all people, before he remembered that all the others could be….dead. He really didn't know, nor did he want to.

Struck with sudden realization, Severus presented the boy with another memory using the last of his energy. "The Dark Lord has weakened, somehow, over the years," he added.

"It still wasn't enough, though."

Seconds ticked by as Severus struggled to breathe.

"It will work."

"What?" Shaken from his stupor, the boy could only gape at Severus. He ignored the question and answered instead, "Look….at…me…"

Severus acknowledged it would be the last seconds of his life and decided to use them well.

"You have your mother's eyes," he complimented the boy. It would be his first and last.

And it was precisely her eyes that were the last thing he saw...

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**Epilogue  
><strong>  
><em>With information and encouragement from Snape's memories and the help of the potion, Harry, Ron, and Hermione travelled back in time to hunt down horcruxes. Harry, upon realizing Snape's true allegiance, disguised himself as his young self (after knocking out the original young one) to say those words he never had the chance to say. After that, he returned his 11 year old self back and resumed the hunt for hocruxes. Unbeknownst to Severus and the trio, the older time-travelling trio had been gradually reducing Voldemort's soul one by one over the years with every new horcrux they destroy. Voldemort was officially defeated by the time-travellers a few minutes before the potion Hermione had been brewing since sixth year (it had taken three years to prepare) was ready. Upon taking the potion, time caught up and the time travellers became one with their other selves once more, like Hermione and Harry had done in their third year. Finally, all was well.<em>


End file.
